He's a real Nowhere Man, sitting in his Nowhere Land

Today was the day of my third appointment with Dr Williams. I've been a bit apprehensive about it, mainly because of getting feedback on the life history that I wrote and the whole not trans enough thing that I'd been feeling recently. It didn't help because I had to go to work this morning and was clock-watching all day to make sure I wasn't late. Thankfully, I wasn't and had plenty of time to go home and get changed before my appointment at 12.

So I'm sat in the waiting room, flicking through the magazines when the receptionist comes over and tells me Dr Williams is running 10-15 minutes late. Not a problem. I pass the time reading articles about Nadia from Big Brother in two magazines. About ten past 12, I get told I can go up to see Dr Williams. For some reason, I get a severe nerve attack as I'm going to his office but take a deep breath outside his door and go in.

After the initial enquiry as to my general health and well-being, he thanks me for my concise and informative report. I explain that I didn't know what to put and he replies that it was exactly what he wanted. Yay for that. He says he has no problem with forwarding it on. Then he tells me that he has some bad news. He reminds me that he'd told me initially that he knows a specific doctor who he refers his trans patients to which I remember, and then he explains that unfortunately, that doctor is currently under investigation as there was a complaint against him for giving out hormones too easily, etc. As a result, he isn't taking on any new referrals. He can't tell me the doctor's name but I believe I know who he's referring to (Russell Reid anyone?) and it's a bit of a bummer.

Anyway Dr Williams now tells me that he's stuck. I can't believe my luck and mention that some of the guys I know had suggested Guy's Hospital and Edinburgh. He doesn't seem impressed with Edinburgh but is surprised by Guy's so he says he'll look into it. He also says he'll get in touch with Lynne Webster in Manchester to see if she can be persuaded to take me on now. He then says "I don't think it'll be a problem, you've got a strong case. It's straightforward Gender Dysphoria." I was so pleased to hear him say that, it's like an official diagnosis.

So he tells me to call on Wednesday between 11 and 12 to see what's happened which I say I'll do. He asks how if I'm eating and sleeping okay, which I am in the main but I tell him how frustrated I am and he nods. He's quite sympathetic to that but tells me that I'm still young yet. I ask about the results of my blood test and he goes through the whole thing with me, telling me exactly what it all means. I do like the way he does that, it's very reassuring. He says it's all fine and if they want to start me on T after my first appointment, then there wouldn't be a problem. He finishes off by saying "my dear" but then realises what he's said and corrects it to "my man" with a big grin.

I leave after about 20 minutes and practically bounce my way home. I have to tell someone so I call Kate and give her the good news and she's so pleased for me. I am amazingly happy, it's like it's all been confirmed and I had nothing to worry about or doubt. So now I have to wait a week and then with any luck, I'll find out who I'm going to be referred to.